Worse movies you've ever seen

[the j00 n00b king]

Please compile a list of your "so bad it's good" movies.

Thank you.

[Rick Middleton]

Thou Shalt Not Kill Except

http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/vhs-videos/819-1.jpg

[Disco Volante]

Il était une fois le diable (Devil Story) takes the prize here easily. If you read French, have a laugh, if not there's still a few images to enjoy:

Devil Story (http://www.nanarland.com/Chroniques/Main.php?id_film=devilstory)

http://www.horreur.net/img/devilstory-aff.jpg

Otherwise, there's always Cannibal Hookers that's good for a laugh.

http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/2824/ptescannipq0.jpg

I've recently seen (parts of) Nightmare Sisters, pretty funny.

http://racksandrazors.com/Pics/nightmaresisters.jpg

And (parts of) Study Hell, which falls in the category of "so bad it's bad" (poster is pretty cool though, even if the board doesn't work... "want" becomes "don't" in the bottom lines because they messed perspective).

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z191/HEAVEN13TH/HORRORS/StudyHell-Big-1.jpg

[klingsor]

Besides a lot of the movies shown on MST3K:

Susan Slade
Tea and Sympathy
Prince Valiant

Trash that I love:
The Other Side of Midnight
King of The Gypsies

[Dr_Chimera]

http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z191/HEAVEN13TH/HORRORS/StudyHell-Big-1.jpg

Very confusing poster. Dizzying, labyrinthian or the such.

"copy would go here and die" = ????

Don't to die...? Won't to die?

I have so many questions. I must see this.

[Dr_Chimera]

I'm a big Jesus Franco fan and a proud owner of Vampyros Lesbos on DVD, displayed prominently for all to see.

That said, I think that his better films are actually pretty good, not bad. Or I should say that as with most films there's never a straightforward good or bad, always some fragments of both. Some films have more of one than the other.

[guinness]

Troll 2
Zombie Nation
Laserblast (non Mstie-fied)
Gummo
Vampire Assassin
loads of other shit, that is escaping my mind ATM.

[Disco Volante]

I'm a big Jesus Franco fan and a proud owner of Vampyros Lesbos on DVD, displayed prominently for all to see.

That said, I think that his better films are actually pretty good, not bad. Or I should say that as with most films there's never a straightforward good or bad, always some fragments of both. Some films have more of one than the other.

The few Franco films I've seen were pretty straight bad (suckfest). There's one where he fakes a murder in slow motion, that is, he fakes the slow motion and has the actors playing dumb-ass slow movements. Except the guy's head hits the ceiling lamp and the fucking thing moves at normal speed over them - bra-vo. It's in one of his women prison crap.

Gummo

WTF?

[Dr_Chimera]

The few Franco films I've seen were pretty straight bad (suckfest). There's one where he fakes a murder in slow motion, that is, he fakes the slow motion and has the actors playing dumb-ass slow movements. Except the guy's head hits the ceiling lamp and the fucking thing moves at normal speed over them - bra-vo. It's in one of his women prison crap.

Franco works pretty quickly and sometimes (scratch that, most of the time) not a single trace of his talent is evident. I do believe there is talent.

The Erotic Adventures of Frankenstein is pretty good, IMO.

[Mr Bugg]

Sure Shot Dombrowski (http://www.westerndirectives.com/ssd.html).

It had a week-long run at the Metro Cinema in Edmonton. Even though it was shot here and got a ton of press, the only people in attendance on the night were a guy who was in it and his girlfriend.

[Disco Volante]

The Erotic Adventures of Frankenstein is pretty good, IMO.

Haven't seen it, I'll try to do so when smz gets back online...

[zamboner]

http://www.naymz.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2006/09/A%20Clockwork%20Orange.jpg

[the j00 n00b king]

Very confusing poster. Dizzying, labyrinthian or the such.

"copy would go here and die" = ????

Don't to die...? Won't to die?

I have so many questions. I must see this.

if you find it somewhere to download, lemme know. because i've asked a friend who can usually find all kinds of obscure films (like Cannibal Hookers and Nightmare Sisters) but couldnt find this one.

[Masterplan]

http://www.horrorfilmhistory.com/images/1980s/Evil.Dead.2.jpg

http://www.actorstheatrecharlotte.org/images/EvilDead3.jpg

[Disco Volante]

if you find it somewhere to download, lemme know. because i've asked a friend who can usually find all kinds of obscure films (like Cannibal Hookers and Nightmare Sisters) but couldnt find this one.

I'll let you know if you apologize for what you said about Visitor Q and Audition. :spankass:

[Dr. John Cockwalrus]

Van Helsing
Batman and Robin
Wicker Man (Cage version, not original)
Virtually anything by Uwe Boll

Oh wait, those are not "so bad it's good." Those are just shit and it sucks to watch them.

[AtlantaSportsFan]

Tropic Thunder - seriously , they should ban Stiller from making movies. Cruise was funny but that's it . I still can't get over the fact that I paid almost 5 dollars to see this crap . Maybe it's not the worst ,but it was a big disappointment for me

Seven Pounds isn't that great either . The whole movie is about selflessness and the end it's exactly the opposite. The producers wanted a typical hollywood hero movie and they failed.

[edgar_box]

Very much looking forward to the next installment of the Fast and the Furious series. Can't say I looked into the previous sequels but with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker back on board, Goddamn I say Goddamn.

[Dr. John Cockwalrus]

Tropic Thunder - seriously , they should ban Stiller from making movies. Cruise was funny but that's it . I still can't get over the fact that I paid almost 5 dollars to see this crap . Maybe it's not the worst ,but it was a big disappointment for me

Seven Pounds isn't that great either . The whole movie is about selflessness and the end it's exactly the opposite. The producers wanted a typical hollywood hero movie and they failed.

Ben Stiller is complete garbage, I agree. If he were on fire I wouldn't piss him out.

[Craig]

Battle Royale is the ultimate movie like this.

Summary: Every year the Japanese government takes the worst behaved 9th grade class in the country, gives them all some random weapons, and sticks them on a deserted island. Last one standing gets to live, provided they take out everyone else within 24 or 48 hours or something, I forget.

[iwishihadacup]

snakes on a plane

[klingsor]

snakes on a plane

Oh yeah, that was a fucking hoot.

Are you sure they didn't make it that way on purpose?

[Bojangles]

Wiker Man. But I give it bonus points because I laughed...a lot.

v_mW8mBzmHo

[the j00 n00b king]

I'll let you know if you apologize for what you said about Visitor Q and Audition. :spankass:

Im just not a fan of Miike. It's just too fucked up for me.

You guys provided a lot of just bad movies.

And the Evil Dead series is the shit. Dont you be hatin' on Ash!

[RTWAP]

Tropic Thunder - seriously , they should ban Stiller from making movies. Cruise was funny but that's it . I still can't get over the fact that I paid almost 5 dollars to see this crap . Maybe it's not the worst ,but it was a big disappointment for me

I enjoyed Tropic Thunder, but it was in spite of Stiller. Any other average Hollywood comedic actor would have been better.

Ben Stiller is complete garbage, I agree. If he were on fire I wouldn't piss him out.

The only movie I like him in was Night at the Museum. He plays a pathetic guy (again!) but it is somewhat within reason, and the movie itself isn't trying to make fun of him, just the situation he finds himself in.

[RTWAP]

http://www.actorstheatrecharlotte.org/images/EvilDead3.jpg

THIS is my Boom Stick!

[Disco Volante]

Im just not a fan of Miike. It's just too fucked up for me.

You guys provided a lot of just bad movies.

And the Evil Dead series is the shit. Dont you be hatin' on Ash!

You guys? Evil Dead? Please don't associate me with anyone, I'm on my own here. Still, you don't deserve Study Hell.

Watch Les trois couronnes du matelot twice, and I'll give you the links you want.

http://rapidshare.com/files/116415311/rrLTCDM83.part01.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116416895/rrLTCDM83.part02.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116420444/rrLTCDM83.part03.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116422019/rrLTCDM83.part04.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116423547/rrLTCDM83.part05.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116425098/rrLTCDM83.part06.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116426726/rrLTCDM83.part07.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116428276/rrLTCDM83.part08.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116429749/rrLTCDM83.part09.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116431151/rrLTCDM83.part10.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116432457/rrLTCDM83.part11.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116433842/rrLTCDM83.part12.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116435199/rrLTCDM83.part13.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116436633/rrLTCDM83.part14.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/116437095/rrLTCDM83.part15.rar

Rar Password: lovermanUK

Subs included

[RTWAP]

You guys? Evil Dead? Please don't associate me with anyone, I'm on my own here.

Gimme some sugar Baby!

[Craig]

Gimme some sugar Baby!

Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.

Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.

That movie was all kinds of awesome.

[The MuffinMan]

The Peanut Butter Solution -

A kid goes into an abadoned house, gets scared by ghosts, all his hair falls out, so then the ghosts come and visit him and give him a recipe to make his hair grow back, but tell him not to use too much peanut butter. He uses too much, so his hair keeps growing and growing, and then his creepy art teacher kidnaps him and a bunch of kids and puts them in a warehouse and forces them to make paint brushes out of his hair.

I2Cm4Cy3rxs


Someone pointed out that Colonel Ty from BSG is the father, so I give it 1/2 a star.

[dempsey_k]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51U8j827eoL._SL500_AA240_.jpg

http://img166.imageshack.us/img166/3513/avhalienvshunterhn4.jpg

http://heystupid.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/santa_with_muscles.jpg

http://www1.phillyburbs.com/superherocostumes/images/pumaman.jpg

http://i140.photobucket.com/albums/r20/MichSuS/MySpace%20Stuff/MST3K-PumaMan_0001.jpg

[Dr_Chimera]

I figure this belongs here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0crbvqpzYKg&feature=channel_page

[nj the redeemer]

The Peanut Butter Solution -

A kid goes into an abadoned house, gets scared by ghosts, all his hair falls out, so then the ghosts come and visit him and give him a recipe to make his hair grow back, but tell him not to use too much peanut butter. He uses too much, so his hair keeps growing and growing, and then his creepy art teacher kidnaps him and a bunch of kids and puts them in a warehouse and forces them to make paint brushes out of his hair.

I2Cm4Cy3rxs


Someone pointed out that Colonel Ty from BSG is the father, so I give it 1/2 a star.

That movie freaked the fuck out of me when I was a kid.

The paintbrushes could create magical paintings too, if I remember right. Painting that you could climb into or something like that.

[Dr_Chimera]

I don't have 'study hell' and frankly wouldn't know where to look.

I checked SM and that's as far as I'll go.:)

[dempsey_k]

I figure this belongs here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0crbvqpzYKg&feature=channel_page

That is outstanding. I wish they really would do that to Nicholas Cage.

[dempsey_k]

FmAAdmM_jB8

[the j00 n00b king]

postal sucked...in a very very bad way

peanut butter story was cool. all movies from that Rock guy were cool classics in our Quebec land.

La Guerre des Tuques
Bach et Botine
Matusalem
Simon dans les Nuages
Mystere et Beurre d'arachides
C'est pas parce que t'es petit que tu peux pas etre Grand


Classics!

[the j00 n00b king]

ok...so i watched a bit of Cannibal Hookers with some friends tonight and all i gotta say...holy shit. I dont think i've ever seen anything this bad take itself so seriously. This was worse than the home movies we make. And that's saying something. And i only watched the first half hour...at least it was making for some good laughs. Ugliest fucking hookers we've ever seen.

[dempsey_k]

ok...so i watched a bit of Cannibal Hookers with some friends tonight and all i gotta say...holy shit. I dont think i've ever seen anything this bad take itself so seriously. This was worse than the home movies we make. And that's saying something. And i only watched the first half hour...at least it was making for some good laughs. Ugliest fucking hookers we've ever seen.

Can't believe Disco tricked you into watching that.

[the j00 n00b king]

Can't believe Disco tricked you into watching that.

the real wonder is how come someone has this on their computer and ready to be p2p'red...

[Papa Lazarou]

I figure this belongs here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0crbvqpzYKg&feature=channel_page

That movie is such a slap in the face to the original wickerman...

[Disco Volante]

ok...so i watched a bit of Cannibal Hookers with some friends tonight and all i gotta say...holy shit. I dont think i've ever seen anything this bad take itself so seriously. This was worse than the home movies we make. And that's saying something. And i only watched the first half hour...at least it was making for some good laughs. Ugliest fucking hookers we've ever seen.

Yeah that film is "amazing", but wait you haven't seen the gun shot at the end (where you clearly see the gun is a toy), and probably not the fabulous noir shot, with the car in a dark alley under a spot (really "serious" aesthetic work)... with the shadow of the mic on the wall. These two shots are the best IMO.

[oilers_guy_eddie]

I present... Demonwarp (http://www.stomptokyo.com/badmoviereport/reviews/D/demonwarp.html).

Backwoods hillbillies... bigfoot... space aliens... topless chicks... topless chicks getting stabbed and lying on slabs with grape jelly all over their tits... and then things get weird.
Battle Royale is the ultimate movie like this.

Summary: Every year the Japanese government takes the worst behaved 9th grade class in the country, gives them all some random weapons, and sticks them on a deserted island. Last one standing gets to live, provided they take out everyone else within 24 or 48 hours or something, I forget.

Loved it. If you can't enjoy a bunch of messed up japanese kids trying to wipe each other out, I just can't relate to you.

Wiker Man. But I give it bonus points because I laughed...a lot.

v_mW8mBzmHo

By god that is awesome.

[Zetterberg4Captain]

Swingvote, like wtf was I thinking?

[sniping_people]

The Scorpion King
Starship Troopers

So bad they're good.

[vnvnvn2000]

Okay i think clover field was really good! They took a really big risk, in the way they filmed the movie!
Well anyway the "Happening" was pretty lame.
But i cant believe i wasted my time watching war of the worlds 2. I don't even think it was a real movie!

[Dr_Chimera]

That movie is such a slap in the face to the original wickerman...

I didn't like the original either. At least the remake is kitschy.

[znk]

The Scorpion King
Starship Troopers

So bad they're good.

That one was made that way intentionally.

[cycle_it]

The Peanut Butter Solution -

A kid goes into an abadoned house, gets scared by ghosts, all his hair falls out, so then the ghosts come and visit him and give him a recipe to make his hair grow back, but tell him not to use too much peanut butter. He uses too much, so his hair keeps growing and growing, and then his creepy art teacher kidnaps him and a bunch of kids and puts them in a warehouse and forces them to make paint brushes out of his hair.

I2Cm4Cy3rxs


Someone pointed out that Colonel Ty from BSG is the father, so I give it 1/2 a star.

but they joke about him putting pb on his crotch lulz

[thecrosbyshow]

Balls of Fury.

[the j00 n00b king]

someone suggested "The Unborn".

i downloaded it.

I watched about...30 minutes? Right up to the point where she says: "so, i killed him while he was in the belly with my own unbellical cord?""

i laughed, turned it off and put in "Attack the gas station instead".

[sniping_people]

That one was made that way intentionally.

You have to think Scorpion King was too.

[znk]

You have to think Scorpion King was too.

Scorpion king isnt a social satire.

[sniping_people]

I don't think they had any intention of making it a decent movie.

[Papa Lazarou]

I didn't like the original either. At least the remake is kitschy.

you didn't like Brit Eklund's hairy bush? Sacrilege...

[Krazy Tea]

Starship Troopers was one of the best movies ever made the sequels however...were terrible

[Krazy Tea]

http://blog.thesource4ym.com/images/blog_thesource4ym_com/twilight%20poster.jpg

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd98/henham1/Fuller_AustraliaMoviePoster.jpg

[Dr_Chimera]

you didn't like Brit Eklund's hairy bush? Sacrilege...

If that was all there was to it I would probably enjoy the film a lot more.

[Dr_Chimera]

Ed: I used the wrong thread and thus failed.

[Dr_Chimera]

http://blog.thesource4ym.com/images/blog_thesource4ym_com/twilight%20poster.jpg

http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd98/henham1/Fuller_AustraliaMoviePoster.jpg

Congratulations - you know how to use the IMG function. A pat on your back from me.

[znk]

speed 2.
Never saw it but managed to catch about 10 minutes of it today.

[Krazy Tea]

Congratulations - you know how to use the IMG function. A pat on your back from me.

what the fuck is img

[Bojangles]

what the fuck is img


http://hfbroads.com/imagehosting/210149ec1e5713b95.jpg

IMG Direct, save your money.

[Yossarian]

I recently had the misfortune of watching The Black Dahlia directed by Brian De Palma and starring Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson. I am, generally, a fan of noir, Raymond Chandler style pulp and old-time radio detective stories but this film was unwatchable. The screenplay was confusing and lacked focus. In addition, the lead acting was so atrocious that I still feel agitated when I think about it.

The film was based on the book by James Ellroy, who also wrote L.A. Confidential. De Palma borrows from Curtis Hanson's film L.A. Confidential but this does not work to the advantage of Dahlia rather it lead to comparison between the films and underscores its inferiority. Hartnett and Johansson, placed in similar dramatic roles, are horribly exposed when compared with Russell Crowe and Kim Basinger.

One of the worst films I have seen in many years.

[Freshie]

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3D (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0424774/)

I bet the DVD even makes a shitty coaster.

[MaroonRouge]

http://www.nettekeyif.net/gir/data/media/474/virgin_suicides_ver2.jpg

I lost 2 hours of my lifespan on the movie! It wasn't clear what Sofia Crapola was trying to achieve in this film whatsoever. There was no explanation, no plot resolution. Equals complete waste of time.

kk thx.

[bwoar]

Overdrawn At The Memory Bank.

[USC Trojans]

Twilight

just saw it from netflix. biggest piece of garbage i've ever seen.

or maybe its cause I don't wear a training bra

[dempsey_k]

Twilight

just saw it from netflix. biggest piece of garbage i've ever seen.

or maybe its cause I don't wear a training bra

Say what you will about that flaming piece of shit film, all of the girls mentioning it on facebook were exclusively a) hot, b) sluts, c) young, d) semi to fully legal.

[Dr_Chimera]

Overdrawn At The Memory Bank.

This movie is awesome. You fail.

[ArtSexDesign]

Donnie Darko 2 - Such a bad idea.
X-Men Last Stand - Why?
Spiderman 3 - Emo means bad ass?
Godfather 3 - Italians like to really keep in the family eh?
Crank 2 - it was great as a 1 part-er, making a sequel cheapened what it was.
Franklyn - Ryan Philippe probably shouldn't have dumped Reese (she's hot and will have a longer career since she can actually pick good roles).
Twilight - It looked like some lame ass tv movie you would watch on YTV when nothing else was on like Goosebumps or Ghost Writer.

[ArtSexDesign]

I recently had the misfortune of watching The Black Dahlia directed by Brian De Palma and starring Josh Hartnett and Scarlett Johansson. I am, generally, a fan of noir, Raymond Chandler style pulp and old-time radio detective stories but this film was unwatchable. The screenplay was confusing and lacked focus. In addition, the lead acting was so atrocious that I still feel agitated when I think about it.

The film was based on the book by James Ellroy, who also wrote L.A. Confidential. De Palma borrows from Curtis Hanson's film L.A. Confidential but this does not work to the advantage of Dahlia rather it lead to comparison between the films and underscores its inferiority. Hartnett and Johansson, placed in similar dramatic roles, are horribly exposed when compared with Russell Crowe and Kim Basinger.

One of the worst films I have seen in many years.

What I noticed is that Hartnett and Johansson are just not suited to be leads in movies, they were terrible when it came down to their performances in a movie where they were relied on to carry the movie, that their acting and their performance would leave you believing in the story and characters. But it felt like De Palma was trying to tell everyone's story all at once and he rushed it, I was looking forward to the movie and I remember being disappointed at the end product. Very disappointed.

It's not often I watch a movie and go what was the point in making this movie? It's like they had this idea, it sounded good in his head and because the story was solid but then he started to make it, got half way through and realized it really did suck when he tried to put it on film and so he finished it as per his obligations and probably would never discuss its existence ever again.

speed 2.
Never saw it but managed to catch about 10 minutes of it today.

You know a script is bad when Keanu Reeves decides not to reprise his role. It was pretty bad, but bad in a funny way and it's something you wouldn't mind watching on a Sunday after noon, like a Segal movie. You know it's terrible but it's so terrible that you just have to see how it ends. Speed 2 was like that for me.

[the j00 n00b king]

speaking of Seagal, has anybody seen this:

http://shocktillyoudrop.com/nextraimages/against-the-dark.jpg


im feeling quite tempted in downloading it since it's got Seagal fighting...vampires. That's like a whole new dimension to his repertoire.

[Vic Rattlehead]

Battlefield Earth.
Waterworld.
The Love Guru - some douchebag at work played this movie in the break room. I'll never forgive him.

[Rogers Pancreas]

speaking of Seagal, has anybody seen this:

http://shocktillyoudrop.com/nextraimages/against-the-dark.jpg


im feeling quite tempted in downloading it since it's got Seagal fighting...vampires. That's like a whole new dimension to his repertoire.That.

Looks.

Awesome.

[Nalyd Psycho]

Downloading it now. Seems like the perfect "I can't be arsed to sleep" movie.

[maloopa]

speaking of Seagal, has anybody seen this:

http://shocktillyoudrop.com/nextraimages/against-the-dark.jpg


im feeling quite tempted in downloading it since it's got Seagal fighting...vampires. That's like a whole new dimension to his repertoire.

Best log-line ever!

[guinness]

Overdrawn At The Memory Bank.

Mike Nelson: [Starts snowing in movie] This is how much pure cocaine you'd need to enjoy this movie.

I love the MST3K version.

[Beaker]

why isn't this thread called... "Worst movies you've ever seen" ?


are we only supposed to post marginally bad movies... and not the actual worst.

Cause my worst ever is

http://sfgospel.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341ce22f53ef010535c79f11970c-800wi

[Ice Poutine]

Speed Racer!! O/10


http://peopleareamazing.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/speed_racer_movie_poster_new.jpg

[Ironchef Chris Wok]

REign of Fire is easily the worst move I've ever seen. It's worse than Twilight

[the j00 n00b king]

why isn't this thread called... "Worst movies you've ever seen" ?


are we only supposed to post marginally bad movies... and not the actual worst.

Cause my worst ever is

http://sfgospel.typepad.com/.a/6a00d8341ce22f53ef010535c79f11970c-800wi

there's a good reason why you were disappointed by that...the movie couldnt put it together properly. i dont know if you know this, but its based on a graphic novel and...well that one made sense and was pretty good. the movie...not so much.

on another note, you have to admit that The Rock actually possesses acting skills. Something his (apparently) predecessor (think Austria) didnt have. Granted The Rock will never reach that level of bad ass-ness, he might be suited for a different future.

[Beef Supreme]

Daylight - Featuring Stallone

[Germz]

The Sex in the City film has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I figured I wasn't going to like it, but I had no idea it was fucking 2 and 1/2 hours long.

The things we do for love.

[dempsey_k]

The Sex in the City film has to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I figured I wasn't going to like it, but I had no idea it was fucking 2 and 1/2 hours long.

The things we do for love.

Oh my fucking god, bitches went crazy for that filth when it came out. It was like the million bitch march, dumb cunts all went to later showings when you had to pay $10 too. A friend of mine was dragged by his girlfriend and he said it was like going to a disney movie except the children had tits.

The worst movie I've seen lately has to be the Watchmen. It just straight up had no point, its enormous budget only confirmed its failure as all the more epic. It made no fucking sense, it thought it had won you over when it didn't, the symphony of cliches weren't even ironic nor did they have a point. What made it all the more worse were the scores of fanboys who went and made me feel like the moron for not liking it. They got up and started pumping their fists into the air when the guy in the prison cell started beating up bad guys who wanted to enter the cell. I didn't even see that at Episode 1.

[Beef Supreme]

Oh my fucking god, bitches went crazy for that filth when it came out. It was like the million bitch march, dumb cunts all went to later showings when you had to pay $10 too. A friend of mine was dragged by his girlfriend and he said it was like going to a disney movie except the children had tits.

The worst movie I've seen lately has to be the Watchmen. It just straight up had no point, its enormous budget only confirmed its failure as all the more epic. It made no fucking sense, it thought it had won you over when it didn't, the symphony of cliches weren't even ironic nor did they have a point. What made it all the more worse were the scores of fanboys who went and made me feel like the moron for not liking it. They got up and started pumping their fists into the air when the guy in the prison cell started beating up bad guys who wanted to enter the cell. I didn't even see that at Episode 1.

I went to the movies the same night that Sex in the City opening...I was baffled at the sight of a hundered half drunk (on Cosmopolitans, of course), cocktail dress wearing cougars and fat bitches in line to see that monstrocity.

The worst fanboy-ism that Ive ever experiences was while I went to see the Two Towers. Shortly after Gandalf fucked up that Balrog, about two dozen douches stood up and cheered. Here's the kicker: the movie had already been out for two months.

[Germz]

My biggest fanboy cheering moment was cheering for the "Lucasfilm Ltd" when I first went to see The Phantom Menace in theatres. To be fair, I was only 13.

Suffice to say, I have not cheered for Lucasfilm since.

[mayoradamwest]

Oh my fucking god, bitches went crazy for that filth when it came out. It was like the million bitch march, dumb cunts all went to later showings when you had to pay $10 too. A friend of mine was dragged by his girlfriend and he said it was like going to a disney movie except the children had tits.

The worst movie I've seen lately has to be the Watchmen. It just straight up had no point, its enormous budget only confirmed its failure as all the more epic. It made no fucking sense, it thought it had won you over when it didn't, the symphony of cliches weren't even ironic nor did they have a point. What made it all the more worse were the scores of fanboys who went and made me feel like the moron for not liking it. They got up and started pumping their fists into the air when the guy in the prison cell started beating up bad guys who wanted to enter the cell. I didn't even see that at Episode 1.
I've never read the graphic novel but I enjoyed the movie. You have to expect some over the top clichés in a comic universe; I think what did it for me was the soundtrack. Leonard Cohen made that sex scene. There were some moments that weren't as great as others, but I thought it was enjoyable. However I also waited a while before seeing it in theatres so it wasn't like that at all. Fanboys ruin everything.

Worst movies ever;

Jackie Chan and Jackie Chan in: Twin Dragons

Soldier -
person: what are you going to do?
Kurt Russel: I'm going to kill them all.

[dempsey_k]

I've never read the graphic novel but I enjoyed the movie. You have to expect some over the top clichés in a comic universe; I think what did it for me was the soundtrack. Leonard Cohen made that sex scene. There were some moments that weren't as great as others, but I thought it was enjoyable. However I also waited a while before seeing it in theatres so it wasn't like that at all.

All of the supposed qualities of Watchmen were outpaced by the qualities of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

[the j00 n00b king]

All of the supposed qualities of Watchmen were outpaced by the qualities of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

i have a feeling that's quite the jab

i read the comic AND saw the movie.

obviously the comic was better but...yeah. it was a lot of non sense anyways.

Alan Moore is one crazy looking mother fucker though:

http://dimpost.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/alan_moore.jpg

he doesnt look like Charles Manson. Nope. Not at all.

[mayoradamwest]

All of the supposed qualities of Watchmen were outpaced by the qualities of an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond.

http://sharetv.org/images/soap/bensondubois-robertguillaume-char.jpg

[maloopa]

Leonard Cohen made that sex scene.

Are you fucking kidding??!! That is easily one of the worst sex scenes I have ever seen, my mind is blown that someone actually liked it. Leornard Cohen made it worse too. That song and that scene at that point in the movie was just terrible. Oh man. You are kidding or on meth right?

[mayoradamwest]

Are you fucking kidding??!! That is easily one of the worst sex scenes I have ever seen, my mind is blown that someone actually liked it. Leornard Cohen made it worse too. That song and that scene at that point in the movie was just terrible. Oh man. You are kidding or on meth right?


I thought it was funny. It also seems to kill Leonard Cohen fans. :danson:


it was an entertaining movie. I can understand if you don't buy the hype or didn't like it, but I found the movie fairly amusing as a whole. Maybe I didn't have the expectations some did though. My friends didn't go crazy and I don't watch a ton of tv but I could see how a person gets annoyed by the mass media surrounding it.... and the fan communities.

I'm not going to deeply analyze the movie or rave about it's philosophical positions but it kept me entertained and I laughed a lot. I don't mind corn, not particularly demanding from movies. It wasn't like sitting through wolverine or the Matrix II (yet to see III.)


It's a comic book movie, I don't see why you'd go in with a ton of expectations about it not being corny. The comic book world works on clichés, maybe you were going in expecting intelligence? I thought it was funny with some of its over the top excesses. Like disco music being chaos, the sound track went along with the rest of the movie.

[Dr_Chimera]

I like Cohen a lot. I've never liked that song, because Cohen sounds like he's wasted while singing it. That scene only confirms my dislike for the song.

[dempsey_k]

I'm not going to deeply analyze the movie or rave about it's philosophical positions

Woa .. woa .. woa .. woa ... woa ........ woa .........woa ....... let me stop you right there.

If there were any philosophy in that movie it must have been related to Derrida because nobody could fucking understand it on purpose. Looking for deep meaning in filth like this is like trying to run a marathon chained to the ground. Make it easier on yourself and go find some movies that actually have that.

[mayoradamwest]

Woa .. woa .. woa .. woa ... woa ........ woa .........woa ....... let me stop you right there.

If there were any philosophy in that movie it must have been related to Derrida because nobody could fucking understand it on purpose. Looking for deep meaning in filth like this is like trying to run a marathon chained to the ground. Make it easier on yourself and go find some movies that actually have that.

sorry, did you think I was saying it had deep philosophical positions? I meant to say the opposite but brought it up because I had heard some people calling it philosophical for its take on international relations which is admittedly dumb.

I think it was mindlessly entertaining and was trying to say there isn't anything wrong with that type of movie. As in, not all movies have to be deeply psychological/make you think... at least to keep me entertained. I like my highbrow as much as the next pompous self styled academic, but it doesn't always need to be like that.

A lot of times movies take themselves too seriously and I find that considerably more annoying.

[dempsey_k]

sorry, did you think I was saying it had deep philosophical positions? I meant to say the opposite but brought it up because I had heard some people calling it philosophical for its take on international relations which is admittedly dumb.

I think it was mindlessly entertaining and was trying to say there isn't anything wrong with that type of movie. As in, not all movies have to be deeply psychological/make you think... at least to keep me entertained. I like my highbrow as much as the next pompous self styled academic, but it doesn't always need to be like that.

A lot of times movies take themselves too seriously and I find that considerably more annoying.

There's nothing wrong with being entertained, and there's nothing wrong with taking yourself seriously. What's wrong is when a movie is such a mess that it can't even tell a coherent story, and at the same time it's taking itself seriously while not even entertaining you. Watchmen accomplishes this feat with aplomb.

[Killface]

I thought Watchmen was pretty epic.
AqRrpzPcNfs

[Beaker]

there's a good reason why you were disappointed by that...the movie couldnt put it together properly. i dont know if you know this, but its based on a graphic novel and...well that one made sense and was pretty good. the movie...not so much.

on another note, you have to admit that The Rock actually possesses acting skills. Something his (apparently) predecessor (think Austria) didnt have. Granted The Rock will never reach that level of bad ass-ness, he might be suited for a different future.

I hadn't read the book.... but the movie had the most incoherent storyline of anything i've ever seen.... I could see that its possible that the graphic novel is a lot better than the movie, wouldn't be the first time.

As for the Rock, yes he is a very good actor, and extremely versatile too... much better than Arnold. He also doesn't take himself and is willing to take roles that are very different, think of the gay bodyguard role in Be Cool, his action character in other movies, his family role in movies like Game Plan. This versatility was also what made him the best wrestler WWE ever had. Is he gonna win an Oscar in his career? Probably not... but he can entertain in a number of different genres.

As for the Watchmen... I thought the movie was okay overall but I had some big issues with the directing. I realize that they wanted to keep the movie rated R instead of NC-17 so they had to cut out some of the more graffic violence in the film, but to me they did it in the wrong scenes. The fight in the jail did not need to be that graffic... however the execution of Veidt's plan, and the death of millions in New York needed to be more graffic than it was.... The removal of the death of Hollis Mason was also a poignant part of the story that was removed. It was like the drector didn't understand the key points of the story when he was making his edits, and it hurt the overall story of the movie.

[the j00 n00b king]

I hadn't read the book.... but the movie had the most incoherent storyline of anything i've ever seen.... I could see that its possible that the graphic novel is a lot better than the movie, wouldn't be the first time.

As for the Rock, yes he is a very good actor, and extremely versatile too... much better than Arnold. He also doesn't take himself and is willing to take roles that are very different, think of the gay bodyguard role in Be Cool, his action character in other movies, his family role in movies like Game Plan. This versatility was also what made him the best wrestler WWE ever had. Is he gonna win an Oscar in his career? Probably not... but he can entertain in a number of different genres.

As for the Watchmen... I thought the movie was okay overall but I had some big issues with the directing. I realize that they wanted to keep the movie rated R instead of NC-17 so they had to cut out some of the more graffic violence in the film, but to me they did it in the wrong scenes. The fight in the jail did not need to be that graffic... however the execution of Veidt's plan, and the death of millions in New York needed to be more graffic than it was.... The removal of the death of Hollis Mason was also a poignant part of the story that was removed. It was like the drector didn't understand the key points of the story when he was making his edits, and it hurt the overall story of the movie.

wait...to clarify things...you said "i hadnt read the book" so im guessing you read it after? because your last paragraph would indicate as such?

i read the book prior to the film and i was actually pretty disappointed by the movie since i (like you) felt that key points had been skimmed over or removed entirely and other scenes highlighted for no apparent reason other than "HOLY SHIT CHECK THIS OUT SLOW MOTION BOUNCING TITS EXPLODING HEAD KNEE IN THE COCK!"

I guess it's tough adapting a graphic novel to movie when you've got big studios breathing down your neck to push it in a more generic direction to appeal to the laidless teenage crowd.

However, im curious as to what went down with Southland tales since it was a small movie with very little marketing behind it...the movie didnt make a whole lot of sense and it did surprise me with The Rock's acting since i really hadnt pegged him with such capabilities in the past.

Anyways, moving on...

Angel of Death RP III's reputation/10:

I cant explain about how bad this movie was...bad fighting scenes, bad generic script, odd cameos (Lucy Lawless and Ted Raimi), irritating characters and a whole self of "shit, this is sirius business". To top it off, the main actress should wear a paper bag throughout the film. At least her body was smoking.

[maloopa]

It's a comic book movie, I don't see why you'd go in with a ton of expectations about it not being corny. The comic book world works on clichés, maybe you were going in expecting intelligence? I thought it was funny with some of its over the top excesses. Like disco music being chaos, the sound track went along with the rest of the movie.

It's alright, it was just that one scene, wasn't trying to make you explain yourself, sorry.

But, on a different note, if you have ever read Watchmen, it's not your typical comic book, and there were plenty of expectations to go in with, it has a reputation for a reason and is a fine piece of fiction without the drawings too.

[Beaker]

wait...to clarify things...you said "i hadnt read the book" so im guessing you read it after? because your last paragraph would indicate as such?

By hadn't read the book i was referring to southland tales.

My second paragraph was a new thought about the rock.

My third paragraph is a new thought about Watchmen. I read the Watchmen prior to seeing the movie

i read the book prior to the film and i was actually pretty disappointed by the movie since i (like you) felt that key points had been skimmed over or removed entirely and other scenes highlighted for no apparent reason other than "HOLY SHIT CHECK THIS OUT SLOW MOTION BOUNCING TITS EXPLODING HEAD KNEE IN THE COCK!"

Again Agreed completely.... My impression was that the director didn't understand the story... but it could be something else.

I guess it's tough adapting a graphic novel to movie when you've got big studios breathing down your neck to push it in a more generic direction to appeal to the laidless teenage crowd.

However, im curious as to what went down with Southland tales since it was a small movie with very little marketing behind it...the movie didnt make a whole lot of sense and it did surprise me with The Rock's acting since i really hadnt pegged him with such capabilities in the past.

I don't know... i still haven't read that book... maybe i'll pick it up.

As for the Rock's acting, I guess you didn't follow his career prior to that movie as closely as I did. Thats fine... but the range was there in his Wrestling Days. I'm not surprised he's the only one from Wrestling who has been successful as an actor, he is just miles ahead of anyone else there. His appearances on SNL were also a good indicator of that ability.

[TehDoak]

yCj8sPCWfUw

[maloopa]

But that's like the best worst movie ever! Tommy's a real talent!

[iwishihadacup]

I'm about to watch mega shark vs giant octopus tonight


I heard the kidnapping was bad

[Beef Supreme]

So reopening the can of worms...I watched The Watchmen last night.

I thought the overall tone of the film was a little pretencious but other than that it was ok. I watched looking to be entertained in the same frame of mind that Id watch a Michael Bay movie and I wasnt dissapointed.

Was it deep? Nah not really.

Was it groundbreaking? Nah not really.

Would I watch it again? Nah not really.

I give it a 6/10 just mainly on the entertainment factor...plus Rorshach was a cool character...kind of like a sketched out Wolverine.

[Suiteness]

Ugh, anybody in here ever had the "pleasure" of watching the Spirit? The only thing that movie has going for it is Eva Mendes looking ridiculously hot. Even then, they fail to show her naked. Absolute crap movie.

[SopelFan]

Exit Wounds starring Seagal and DMX.

[edgar_box]

Fuck you, that was Seagal's fourth best.

[chiclet]

What was the movie with the asteroid, the oil workers and the fire in space? That one sucked pretty hard.

[klingsor]

What was the movie with the asteroid, the oil workers and the fire in space? That one sucked pretty hard.

Armageddon (1998/I)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120591/

[chiclet]

Armageddon (1998/I)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120591/

Yup. That was it. Fucking unreal. People were openly laughing in the theatre. I have no idea as to what I was doing there in the first place as I rarely to theatres. Nonetheless, I was there and it sucked.

Thanks again, love.

http://hfbroads.com/picture.php?groupid=1&pictureid=42

[the j00 n00b king]

Yup. That was it. Fucking unreal. People were openly laughing in the theatre. I have no idea as to what I was doing there in the first place as I rarely to theatres. Nonetheless, I was there and it sucked.

Thanks again, love.

http://hfbroads.com/picture.php?groupid=1&pictureid=42

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RRjDEoRB8Y&feature=fvw